You can make a difference. Seriously?
I did a good deed today to a dog by shooing it off from lying right in the middle of the turn into my workplace. Silly mutt was lying there licking its paw and I thought it was hurt. Until I barked at it and it stood on fours that I realise it was ok. I was walking away when I looked back and there it was, lying down on the same dangerous spot. A van happened to turn in and I was about to run across to stop it but the driver miraculously saw the black dog on the black road in the dark street and drove right past it. Still the silly mutt's survival instinct did not kick it - it just laid there! So I coaxed it again while it gave me this cute and unsure look before turning away and walked over to the grassy patch near the carpark.
Yes that might have felt like a good deed, but who knows when it would decide to return to that spot for some R&R? Or will it pick an even more dangerous spot on the main road to lie on? What had I actually done to help it? Postpone the inevitable? Shifted the location? Have I actually helped, hindered or even worse, made no difference? Even if I wanted to glorify my act by thinking I saved its life this time, I can't be there to stop it all the time.
Of late, this feeling of futileness in the things I do have been haunting me. This must be what superheroes like Spiderman or doctors who try to save lives everyday feel like. No matter how hard you try, it is never good enough.
I did a good deed today to a dog by shooing it off from lying right in the middle of the turn into my workplace. Silly mutt was lying there licking its paw and I thought it was hurt. Until I barked at it and it stood on fours that I realise it was ok. I was walking away when I looked back and there it was, lying down on the same dangerous spot. A van happened to turn in and I was about to run across to stop it but the driver miraculously saw the black dog on the black road in the dark street and drove right past it. Still the silly mutt's survival instinct did not kick it - it just laid there! So I coaxed it again while it gave me this cute and unsure look before turning away and walked over to the grassy patch near the carpark.
Yes that might have felt like a good deed, but who knows when it would decide to return to that spot for some R&R? Or will it pick an even more dangerous spot on the main road to lie on? What had I actually done to help it? Postpone the inevitable? Shifted the location? Have I actually helped, hindered or even worse, made no difference? Even if I wanted to glorify my act by thinking I saved its life this time, I can't be there to stop it all the time.
Of late, this feeling of futileness in the things I do have been haunting me. This must be what superheroes like Spiderman or doctors who try to save lives everyday feel like. No matter how hard you try, it is never good enough.
Hey, did it occur to you the dog you saved could have rabies, and could seriously hurt someone? But does it mean you let the poor mutt get run over?? I don't think so. We are all plagued by the sense of futility, the sense of complete unfulfilment, but does it mean we don't even try? To give up trying means to give up hope...what are we if we give up hope of ever being better, ever making a difference? If it means anything, you have made a difference in MY life, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
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Anonymous |
Monday, November 26, 2007 10:24:00 AM