I'd give my heart, Jillian
The tale of my discovery of this tale is just as convoluted as the tale itself. Confused yet? Let's approach this methodically and study it in a scholarly manner.
Firstly, it was the haunting song from Within Temptation - Jillian (I'd give my heart). Based on the song alone, with the very heart wrenching lyrics, one will be puzzled. So let's start with a YouTube video of this song performed "live" at a really beautiful venue with a large cruise ship and the ocean as a background. Man I wish I was there, I think I'll weep.
And then we study the lyrics:
I've been dreaming for so long,
to find a meaning to understand.
The secret of life,
why am I here to try again?
Will I always, will you always
see the truth when it stares you in the face?
Will I ever, will I never free myself
by breaking these chains?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
I've been living for so long,
many seasons have passed me by.
I've seen kingdoms through ages
rise and fall, I've seen it all.
I've seen the horror, I've seen the wonders
happening just in front of my eyes.
Will I ever, will I never free myself by making it right?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
Jillian our dream ended long ago.
All our stories and all our glory I held so dear.
We won't be together
for ever and ever, no more tears.
I'll always be here until the end.
Jillian, no more tears
Jillian, no more tears
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
It's the second last stanza that makes my eyes teary - Jillian, our dream ended long ago. All our stories and all our glory I held so dear. We won't be together for ever and ever.
Yes that's pretty sad. Until you wonder who the heck is Jillian. So I delved a little deeper in the fan forums and found that this song was inspired by the Deverry series written by Katharine Kerr. Which I had been devouring and am now at Darkspell, the second book in the series. The first, being Daggerspell, arrests you somewhere in the third chapter and refuses to let you go.
Briefly, the Celtic fantasy is about reincarnation and Fate, or what she calls Wyrd. It's the foreboding sense of history repeating itself and not being able to change it. It's about the short sightedness of not being able to see beyond this lifetime. It's about the times you look at a stranger whom you feel strangely drawn to or repulsed by although you have never even met before - in this lifetime anyway. And yet there is Nevyn - "nobody" - who has the unenviable task of changing the Wyrd of the people involved in the tragedy. And there a lots of cool battles and magic, or what she calls dweomer, and political intrigue, as well as some romance. But what stays with me, as always, is the pain.
And after all the reverse engineering, where from the books Within Temptation was inspired to write this song, it makes the sadness three times more painful. From the perspective of Nevyn, who loves Jillian, who can never be together with her, and yet "I'll always be here until the end", the song makes even more sense and stabs deeper.
So I'll continue reading hopefully until the end although some readers have complained that the later books are rather draggy and poorly written. So far I'm impressed but we'll see.
The Deverry Series by Katharine Kerr:
1) Daggerspell
2) Darkspell
3) The Bristling Wood
4) The Dragon Revenant
The Westlands
5) A Time of Exile
6) A Time of Omens
7) Days of Blood and Fire (A Time of War)
8) Days of Air and Darkness (A Time of Justice)
The Dragon Mage
9) The Red Wyvern
10) The Black Raven
11) The Fire Dragon
12) The Gold Falcon (in progress)
Let me relish the pain.
The tale of my discovery of this tale is just as convoluted as the tale itself. Confused yet? Let's approach this methodically and study it in a scholarly manner.
Firstly, it was the haunting song from Within Temptation - Jillian (I'd give my heart). Based on the song alone, with the very heart wrenching lyrics, one will be puzzled. So let's start with a YouTube video of this song performed "live" at a really beautiful venue with a large cruise ship and the ocean as a background. Man I wish I was there, I think I'll weep.
And then we study the lyrics:
I've been dreaming for so long,
to find a meaning to understand.
The secret of life,
why am I here to try again?
Will I always, will you always
see the truth when it stares you in the face?
Will I ever, will I never free myself
by breaking these chains?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
I've been living for so long,
many seasons have passed me by.
I've seen kingdoms through ages
rise and fall, I've seen it all.
I've seen the horror, I've seen the wonders
happening just in front of my eyes.
Will I ever, will I never free myself by making it right?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
Jillian our dream ended long ago.
All our stories and all our glory I held so dear.
We won't be together
for ever and ever, no more tears.
I'll always be here until the end.
Jillian, no more tears
Jillian, no more tears
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.
It's the second last stanza that makes my eyes teary - Jillian, our dream ended long ago. All our stories and all our glory I held so dear. We won't be together for ever and ever.
Yes that's pretty sad. Until you wonder who the heck is Jillian. So I delved a little deeper in the fan forums and found that this song was inspired by the Deverry series written by Katharine Kerr. Which I had been devouring and am now at Darkspell, the second book in the series. The first, being Daggerspell, arrests you somewhere in the third chapter and refuses to let you go.
Briefly, the Celtic fantasy is about reincarnation and Fate, or what she calls Wyrd. It's the foreboding sense of history repeating itself and not being able to change it. It's about the short sightedness of not being able to see beyond this lifetime. It's about the times you look at a stranger whom you feel strangely drawn to or repulsed by although you have never even met before - in this lifetime anyway. And yet there is Nevyn - "nobody" - who has the unenviable task of changing the Wyrd of the people involved in the tragedy. And there a lots of cool battles and magic, or what she calls dweomer, and political intrigue, as well as some romance. But what stays with me, as always, is the pain.
And after all the reverse engineering, where from the books Within Temptation was inspired to write this song, it makes the sadness three times more painful. From the perspective of Nevyn, who loves Jillian, who can never be together with her, and yet "I'll always be here until the end", the song makes even more sense and stabs deeper.
So I'll continue reading hopefully until the end although some readers have complained that the later books are rather draggy and poorly written. So far I'm impressed but we'll see.
The Deverry Series by Katharine Kerr:
1) Daggerspell
2) Darkspell
3) The Bristling Wood
4) The Dragon Revenant
The Westlands
5) A Time of Exile
6) A Time of Omens
7) Days of Blood and Fire (A Time of War)
8) Days of Air and Darkness (A Time of Justice)
The Dragon Mage
9) The Red Wyvern
10) The Black Raven
11) The Fire Dragon
12) The Gold Falcon (in progress)
Let me relish the pain.
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